Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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