I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
