Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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