We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
