like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
