One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
