he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
