Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
