I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
