She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
