Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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