We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
