We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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