take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
