So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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