how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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