So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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