can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
not ubering you a puppy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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