I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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