well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
