oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
