All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
