He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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