We're facebook friends in real life
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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