She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
