did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize