I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we're making bets on your personal life
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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