How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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