i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
