In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
