That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
