I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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