tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you mean i was at the winter classic?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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