dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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