and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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