i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize