Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My liver just broke up with me...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
