well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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