Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
