Dual....:-)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
