I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize