When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
