operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
