Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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