Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
