So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
