I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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