whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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