As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
