No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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