she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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