was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize