Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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