I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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