Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
