So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize