That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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